Runner Up for Worst Ad of the Year (So Far)

(The worst ad of the year being "Panopticon" brought to you by Ring during the Super Bowl)

While I am largely a total ignoramus when it comes to college basketball, I have always loved the March Madness tournament, going back to filling out a Xerox'd copy of a bracket in elementary school. The first few days of the tournament are always the most entertaining with a game ending every 15 minutes or so and the upsets getting highlighted to follow. This year was no different and by dumb luck my work schedule aligned so that I could watch more of the first couple of rounds than in recent years.

It did not take many hours of watching before this year's installment of the Chuck, Spike and Sam show feat. Jennifer Garner & Magic brought to you by Capital One was unleashed upon the public. Set to Outkast's "Ms. Jackson", it's... well it's something else. I'm trying to remember a more appalling ad but I'm struggling. Not a single one of them can dance and none of them can carry a tune. Magic looks like he was just dropped onto the set, handed a script sheet with a couple of lines and voila - single take.

It took me back to an Old Navy ad - 20+ years back, apparently... sad face for me - that was a similar abomination. This one for "Super Skirts" from 2004 Christmas per that link. It is truly a horror, though the video I linked to here is a little weirder than I even remember with the dudes popping out of the water. Rick James' Super Freak was released in 1981 and this Old Navy commercial was 23 years later. That said, Super Freak had some staying power and even showed up at some point in an episode of Ally McBeal in the late 90s. I do wonder if it's appropriation for the commercial had anything to do with Rick James' death also in 2004. Not sure which way the causation flows on that one though. Maybe he died of heartbreak after licensing his song for the Christmas campaign?

Interesting that Ms. Jackson was released in late 2000 and is now appearing ~25 years later. Is that the rough amount of time (approximately a generation?) to let the edges come off these songs so they can be reworked into selling us low-end clothing and banks? Though it probably took a LOT of metaphorical sandpaper to smooth out:

"That girl is pretty kinky (the girl's a super freak)

 I really love to taste her (every time we meet)"

Look, I get that a paycheck is a paycheck. We all have to eat, pay rent, and hopefully retire at some point. I'll never judge someone for taking a crappy job to make ends meet because at least they're out there doing something. But man... these commercials are depressing. I hope the checks were MASSIVE.

Any other uses of songs that just destroyed them? I know they're out there. What will be the next songs from the mid to late 2000s we'll be seeing in ads soon?

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