Santa Baby - A Lyrical Exploration

The Christmas season is officially upon us, which means Christmas music is back. For some reason this year - despite having heard perhaps half-a-dozen versions of the song - the lyrics of Santa Baby finally registered with me. Maybe because in past years it seemed tame compared to "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and the implications in those lyrics but let's review Santa Baby on its own:

  • The song is clearly a kept woman singing to her sugar daddy. This part doesn't really seem up for debate. Each verse the requests get a little wilder starting with a fur coat, working up to a platinum mine and finally a ring, which clearly means she aims for half. Of everything.

  • Chimney is clearly a euphemism. "Hurry down my chimney tonight." Somehow this didn't register with me for YEARS. I am embarrassed. But check #7 on the list of Christmas songs on this page. Ella Fitzgerald's "Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney." Yeah.

  • In the middle of Sugar's request list we have this:

Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed

Next year I could be just as good

If you'll check off my Christmas list

Which, I think you have to agree is basically a veiled threat to Sugar Daddy she is going to be taking on other benefactors in the coming year if her needs aren't met. Though whether he cares or not, we are left to speculate.

  • "Come and trim my Christmas tree"... this reads as something of a modern interpretation vs. the aforementioned "chimney." Particularly since she then asks for ornaments from Tiffany. I can strain to make this work but until I read about Tiffany's getting into different markets with piercings for the nether regions, this one will be a weak lyric.

  • Finally, the original version is Eartha Freakin' Kitt singing it! Come on. You can imagine her purring on the phone to Daddy and him getting all worked up to absolutely come down her chimney.

That this song features on so many Spotify Christmas playlists is amusing to me but since it's from an era of innuendo rather than overt raunch, it allows for a brief mental departure from the standard Christmas world of Bing Crosby.

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